Today at 36 weeks.

Somehow we are only four Mondays away from having a baby (give or take a little) and I just don’t know where the time has gone. With every passing month I get a little more anxious about the whole birthing process as I think I blocked out what’s about to happen to me during the first and second trimesters. One of my best friends just had a baby and I saw her this past weekend. Although very sleepy, she looked like a champ and I wondered how I would be able to conquer labor and delivery the way she did with such grace and recovery. To say I’m intimidated would be an understatement. Thanks Audrey.

Anyway, here I am with another list of things that are me as of today at 36 weeks. Maybe it’s the baby brain or the fact that all I do is sleep, sleep, sleep no matter what, but the blog has become a mindless list of random thoughts and things going on, and I realize after about the fifth post on what is happening in my life you are more than ready for some quality writing, but bare with me a little longer. I am growing a human’s flesh and lungs and brains, okay?

Watching: The West Wing. I finished House of Cards recently after a taking a few years off. The show was too sexual for my taste when I started watching it in college but I loved all of the political drama. Don’t worry, the show is still too sexual for my taste, however, I remembered there is such a thing as a fast forward button on the remote so I skipped all the skanky parts and indulged in the politics. Oops…I realize this was supposed to be about Sam Seaborn and CJ Craig and all the other wonderful people that make up The West Wing. I’ll save this love affair for another day.
Baking: not much of anything lately. We have our life group every Thursday so I’ve been using that as a way to try new recipes, but I haven’t made anything sweet or under the category of baking in a while. I need to get on that…
Wondering: when this baby will come.
Reading: Babywise again. Now that we’re less than a month out, I’m slightly freaking out about what to actually do with a baby when you get home. If you follow me on Pinterest, be glad I save my obnoxious pins about sleep training and breastfeeding for my private boards.
Craving: all the chips and salsa. And Reese Cup blizzards. And cheese.
Organizing: our pantry. Except I haven’t. But I need to so there’s that.
Wasting: time just talking to my husband. My very favorite thing to do.
Sipping: lots and lots of water. I just can’t get enough recently. I need to invest in a larger water bottle that holds more water so I don’t have to keep getting out of bed or up from my desk at work to refill my knock-off Yeti. Because baby girl is laying low on the bladder and every step I take feels like she is about to fall out. #TMI?  
Loving: this maternity dress brand. And this baby clothes brand. I have this and this coming soon for my hospital bag and I just. can’t. wait.
Dreaming: about what this little tot will look like and if the photos of our last ultrasound are true with her having a head full of hair. I mean, I was bald until three and have you seen her dad?
Chopping: my hair off soon.
Feeling: content with where God has me, even though there are a million unknowns ahead.
Laughing: at The Office every night before bed. We watch at least one episode and it has become this sweet little ritual with Spencer. I love hearing his laugh because he doesn’t laugh at just everything like me. He laughs at the really, really good parts – ones you might miss if you check your phone or get distracted for two seconds. And then I love when he grabs my hand from laughing so hard and squeezes real tight.
Picking: out a rug for baby’s room but it’s so hard. And so darn expensive.
Humming: my Baby Hahn playlist. And crying to it too.
Wearing: maternity clothes for not much longer. I swear, some days I want to rip them off and run down our street naked in protest. I’m sick of five layers of material covering my stomach, no underwear that fit, and the shoes I’m forced to wear because my feet have grown in length AND thickness. Like, why?!
Teaching: myself new songs once a month now that I’m on the rotation for worship at church. Taking me back to my glory days in college.
Learning: there is a time and place for everything.
Following: some pretty amazing mommas on Instagram. Like her and her and of course, her.
Praying: for so many mommas and babies being born lately. It seems there are more hard stories going around than easy ones. We all need more prayer and more compassion for one another.
Making: budget and lifestyle changes for the future. This should be interesting.
Wanting: more sleep between the hours of 1:00 and 5:00am.
Playing: a lot of games with our life group on Thursdays. We laugh until we cry with this one and we judge and argue with this one. It’s a good balance, I promise.
Waiting: to go to IKEA…except not! Mom took me last weekend and I spent an un-godly amount of money. But I saved all summer and was wise with my choices, so I feel really good about it. I also only used cash and that just makes me feel like a real adult.
Remembering: to give myself grace in the growing. To nurture relationships. To spend more time with my husband than posting about him. To cherish every week that passes with this girl in my tummy. And to go grocery shopping every week. (Yep, same as last time, and I’m probably not going to change it for the weeks to come.)

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