When you’ve been married for little over a month, you’re bound to learn a few things. Sure we don’t have years of marital experience under our belt, and no we don’t have kids, or a mortgage, but doing life with another person is hard (which makes it wonderful). And when something is hard, lessons are learned.
Now, I’m not talking about lessons that can be taught by your momma or your mentor or even your mom-in-love (who knows your hubby pretty dang well). I’m talking about lessons that you learn by living. Lessons that you learn through experience. Lessons that your Mimi (who’s been married for 52 years) can’t even teach you.
One such lesson? Grocery shop every single week. No matter what. And all your marriage problems will disappear. Kidding 🙂
We’re coming off a 2 1/2 week run of not going grocery shopping, and I kid you not, they were the hardest weeks of our marriage. Which is serious and funny at the same time, but we learned a lot so that means it’s worth something.
At the beginning of week one everything was fine. We had enough food to last us the whole week from the previous grocery trip, and even some Hahn-made chocolate chip cookies in the tupperware (point for me).
Week two and things got interesting. There was enough food for a few lunches and dinners at the beginning, but even those meals were a combination of random. Toward the weekend, all hope was lost. No snacks for hubby. No seltzer waters for hubby. No cookies for hubby.
This makes for Hangry Hubby, and as some of you may know, this is not good.
(I know the saying goes, “Happy wife, happy life”, but I have to say my version goes more like, “Full hubby, lots of lovey”…yeah, doesn’t have the same ring to it…)
But I just had no motivation. No motivation to fight the Kroger crazies. No motivation to make a list then buy everything not on the list. No motivation to get all the way home, pile as many bags on my wrists as possible (& endure serious pain while doing so), only to realize I FORGOT THE GRIPPOS (loss of one & only point). Do you get it? No motivation.
So what’s a girl to do? Go grocery shopping.
Friday night I spent an embarrassing amount of time wandering around Kroger. I made my list, filled my Tervis, turned the radio to Mix-Mas, and headed to the store. On a Friday night. We weren’t going on our usual date night, so all I wanted to do was sit by the Christmas tree and cuddle on the couch. But what was I doing instead? Grocery shopping.
And I’m so glad I did. Not only was I on the way to end the Hangry Hubby stage, but I had some time to myself. Time to think. Time to rejuvenate.
My embarrassing amount of time in Kroger was mostly spent trying to not lose my cool when I forgot something on the other side of the store and looking up weird ingredients on Google – because who actually knows what Coriander is? Not this girl. (I’m sure all you awesome women know exactly what Coriander is and you’re thinking I’m an idiot. I digress.)
Yet, as I was aimlessly fretting through Kroger, the Lord in His unwavering humor, reminded me that marriage is not about me. Marriage is about we. For two weeks, I was unmotivated to go grocery shopping because I simply didn’t want to. I was completely content with eating peanut butter toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner…but the other half of me wasn’t. And the funny thing is, my sweet husband offered to grocery shop FOR me, multiple times. And who wouldn’t let him? Queen Stubborn over here. I don’t even have an explanation for that one.
Gently, yet seriously, God revealed a dark spot in my heart. He uncovered some selfishness I’d been harboring, and gave me grace to try again. So I piled my buggy with everything on the list (and then some), headed home to load my wrists with bags – only to find my guy waiting at the door to help. All the heart eyes.
In marriage, we know that two become one, but actually living that out is a decision to make every day. And thank God (literally) we have His help. So, we’ll keep deciding to choose we, rather than me. And when we stumble, we’ll learn a lesson or two, then head straight to the grocery.
Because when your hubby asks, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”…it’s always best to have an answer.